Linus Torvalds Bowls Perfect Match, Again

Hey Linus, lay off the KFC, will ya?

Waukeegan, MN (DNS - Disunited News Syndicate) -- Finnish native Linus Torvalds, generally hailed as the greatest person to write C code since Kernigan and Ritchie, bowled his 64th perfect match this afternoon at Bowl-O-Rama in downtown Waukeegan. Ironically, 64 is the minor block number of the Linux device representing the first serial port on most PC's. Torvalds, who was generally unimpressed with his win, attributed his consecutive strikes to "Hot Nacho[s]" and debugging source code by hand. Said Torvalds, "I have no patience for those sissies using GDB...if you can't recognize the hex address of your system call from the kenel oops message, you should be writing Java applets." As Linus climbed into his cherry-red 1984 Cadillac Sedan DeVille, he called out "I'll be back like a return statement, and I'm coming for number 65." No one on the sidewalk corner dared to contest.

An LBC article. Burl Ives is a staff reporter for the Waukeegan Cheese Press, whose syndicated column "j00 833n 0\/\/n3d" appears daily in over 300 newspapers. Photography by Leroy Brown.

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