01/11/2002 Update: i know the word is getting around at lockheed about this page so in order to protect myself from slander and libel lawsuits, i'm taking out all identifying features such as his name and where he went to school. of course, if you're here, you either work at lockheed and already know who he is or you don't and the name is arbitrary. somehow this page is the most popular on my entire site, even beating out pussy pictures despite the search engine hits it must generate.

The Lies
I started working at the Lockheed Martin [location undisclosed] sector a couple of years ago. While awaiting my government security clearance, I hung out with a group of recent college grads who were also awaiting their clearances. One gentleman, by the name of [name removed to prevent lawsuit], would tell us of his life experiences but after a few weeks we noticed that his stories were getting more and more factually outrageous. We eventually figured out that this guy has some mental problems. So with the help of my peeps still on the inside, I'm taking note to record every lie this guy has told. This is no small undertaking. Nobody really likes this guy, so we ignore him, but we have caught him lying on several occasions. If all of this were true, he would have more life experience than everyone else I know combined.

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